You know that old saying "Good help is hard to find?". Well I'm starting to think they weren't lying. I am in that awkward stage of my career where I am getting busier every week and would like to hire an Assistant. But I Currently have 2 problems....
Problem #1 is that I am in this Narnia land stage where I'm not quite there yet financially. If you want to get someone good you have to pay them well, and I'm not at the point yet to fork over 50-60 thousand a year. So I do a bunch of stuff that I both suck at and hate. I am a bad speller, my grammar is terrible, every time I try to make coffee it tastes like shit and when I take notes I end up just drawing Penguins with offensive captions. In other words I am a child.
Problem #2 is who would I hire? My natural instinct is to get a young attractive girl that wears sexy pencil skirts and likes shoes by designers I cant pronounce. This idea sounds good on paper until I get surly one day and end up jamming her. I than just have a gf on the pay roll that knows my every move. She will start scheduling me meetings at the mall where I will be forced to buy expensive creams that make my hands smell like I just jerked off the poster boy for Aurora Borealis. And in the small case I don't go Jude Law on her Ass any GF I do have will absolutely hate her and call 70 times a day wondering what the hell I am doing. If I'm home a minute later than 530 she would staple my unit to the kitchen table, (try explaining that to dinner guests). Either way I lose, so I guess I could hire and older experienced secretary but than I have to be way more serious and I will be locked in a room with someones Gammy 40 hours a week. I think my the ideal assistant would be like Lloyd from Entourage because I could be verbally abusive and still get lots of work done. Plus gay people are great at keeping secrets cause most of them spent so many years in closets growing up. So as a budding young heterosexual man, I am saving up for a Homosexual.
